Couldn’t figure out why the GPS was growling at me. Apparently someone had selected “Yeti” as the language.

Me: so I changed the vehicle on my GPS to a hawk.
DH: oh good, so you’re getting useful things done. For a second there I thought you were screwing around.

Youngest, holding up the two liter of Pepsi, which is almost gone, “Can I drink this, just like, with a straw?”
Me: You mean, drink it out of the bottle?
Y: Yeah, with a straw.
Me: No. As soon as you let go, the straw will fall inside.
Y: Dude, no, I KNOW WHAT I’M DOING. I mean, I know straws, man. Geez. Doubting your son.

What it’s like traveling across the US with an Englishman:
Me: Oh look, the birthplace of (famous American)!
DH: who?

Wang chung’s Dance Hall Days came on shuffle, and DH was doing an impression of the singer that had me in tears. Per DH, the guy would be the most awkward guy at any party if he talked like he sings. Blurty McBlurterson. Like the band told him not to sing at that part, but he just couldn’t help himself.

Road Kill Bingo started out as most silly car ride games start – we needed something to keep our minds occupied during the long stretches with nothing but highway scenery. I kept tally in a notebook for the first few months we were on the road. We’d all be sitting in silence and then suddenly one of us would yell, “Armadillo!” or perhaps, “Deer!” or way too often, “Raccoon!”

The original Road Kill Bingo rules started with only one:

1. No hitting your own. You cannot make roadkill. It’s wrong, and it would make me cry.

But over time, we added addendums, statutes, and so on.

• Roadkill bingo all encompassing policy 1.1: No fault road kill, only pre-existing road kill counts.
• Granville roadkill bingo rule addendum 3.2: Raccoons don’t count after the 5th one.
• Maryland roadkill bingo addendum 3.3: Cut Christmas trees only count if you can prove they were hit by a car.
• Carolinas road kill bingo addendum 4.3: vultures are worth the same points as three raccoons.
• Ohio roadkill bingo chapter addendum 6.1: roadkill within Ohio worth 0 points due to the unfair advantage rule of 2014. Too plentiful.

Animals found included:

• Raccoons: 4 until I gave up and just made the infinity symbol.
• Beaver: 2
• Deer: 6
• Hedgehog: 1
• Possum: 2
• Rabbit: 4
• Unidentified furry messes: 4 until I gave up counting and made the infinity symbol.
• Skunk: 3
• Coyote: 2
• Turtles and/or tortoises: 5
• Vultures: 2
• Armadillos: 8
• Porcupine: 1
• Lawn chairs: 4
• Blankets and shoes: 24
• Burnt out car: 1

Notable mentions:

Roadkill bingo first: wild boar. Yes, we’re in Texas now.

Live wild animals seen from the road have included:

• Coyotes
• Deer
• Elk
• Sonoran Pronghorn Antelope
• Regular Pronghorn Antelope
• Wild Turkeys
• Eagles, vultures, and hawks
• Tortoises
• Alligators
• Prairie Dogs